RPGrinders

RPGrinders EP 773 - Final RPGrinders MMXXIII

This is the final episode of RPGrinders. You will no longer have to listen to Break complain. You will never again be seduced by the sultry voice of Frank. Eric's words  of wisdom will never again fill your ears. Good night everyone. Thank you for playing. 

 

 

 

 

WAIT WAIT WAIT...

 

Wait....OH My bad. It's just the last episode of 2023! Frank will be back on Friday night to enliven your life. Eric will once again teach you how to be a decent human being. And what about the BreakMan? He has ALREADY started whining! 2024 may be a new year but it's the same old Grinders! 

With a large portion of the country off work for the holidays, there isn't a lot of news. That's the way Break likes it or he would of if he had bothered to show up on time. Lazy Man will have to listen to this episode to find out about the DLC coming to Front Mission 1st Remake or when Dragon Quest Tactics will be shutting down? 

Probably Taking A Nap Man did arrive on time for the reviews. He even gives his final review of the year. Is the vampire comedy series worth the time or did it just put PTAN Man to sleep? If lazy vampires won't wake him up maybe Robert Kirkman's BEST television show will. Which show, you may ask? You will just have to listen.

It wouldn't be a Grinders episode without the Stinkos. Always Bitching About Something Man has a long list of complaints, AS USUAL. Politics, SWATTING, and genocide are just a few of the horrible pieces of news to end the year. Whiney Man isn't the only one with Stinkos as Frank deals with the more person issue of being sick (yuck)! Not to be left out, Eric has a personal beef with the Republicans in the Ohio capital as they wage a war against the trans community. 

The Sweetos take an interesting turn as Bi Man slightly disagrees with Eric on the veto of the bill attacking the trans community. The disagreement is only slight as both agree the bill is evil. Both stand firm in their beliefs of protecting the trans community from oppression and discrimination. 

As the final episode of the year, it's the Grinder tradition to reminisce about their favorite games of the year and movies. For the first time they also look back at the worst games and movies of the year. They were so bad that the people MUST be warned again. *Bitter Man glares angrily at The Flash*

2024 promises to be an exciting year for the Grinders. They have some exciting ideas they can't wait to share! Suck it 2023! Frank has new big plans for 2024, Eric has some brand new ideas, and Slacker Man just wants to say the word "new". So please join us in the new year, for new segments, new tournaments, new reviews, new news, and so much more new! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Playable Masturbation. 

 

RPGrinders EP 770 - Exilemania!

This episode is an exile heavy show!  Nobody is safe from the power of the exile (except Frank of course!). In this news heavy episode, the fellas discuss some exciting new games like Exodus, No Rest For the Wicked, and Wukong!  Eric brings us a new Indie Gala bundle, Break brings us the latest and greatest (not) of the Ohio GOP, and finally we are getting closer to determining the greatest holiday movie of all time!  Also as an added bonus we make some announcements about next year and some exciting new segments upcoming!  Join us every Friday 7EST on YouTube and on Twitch here: https://www.twitch.tv/rpgrinders  Thanks for listening!

RPGrinders EP 769 - Pizza Shit

HO HO Holy shit...I'm making the same joke I made last year! That's right! I lack creativity. So deal with it and get ready to deal with another episode of gaming news, movie reviews, a brand-new holiday themed tournament, the Stinkos, the Sweetos, and the everything Betweenos.  

The year may be winding down, but the news just won't quit. New games like Yuuna and the Haunted Hot Springs and a remaster of Beyond Good & Evil are still being announced. The year isn't even done with game releases, as FF7 Ever Crisis and Cookie Cutter are releasing this month. It's not too soon to start planning for next year with games like Cupid Parasite: Sweet & Spicy Darling and Unfortold: Witchstone scheduled for 2024 releases.

The holidays may be the season of cheer and goodwill, but it is also the season of long cold nights. After a long day of working and a long night of holiday shopping, it might be nice to go home and relax. Sit down in your favorite chair, light up the fireplace, pour yourself an ice-cold eggnog, and roll that holiday kush for an evening of Hollywood entertainment. Disney's best TV show returns for a second season of time skipping with the mischievous god, Loki. Max adds a new superhero to the live action roster, the Blue Beetle. For those who prefer to see their movies in a theater, the Marvels and Godzilla Minus One might not be couch ready but they are definitely worth the time.

The holidays maybe a time of joyful celebration but it wouldn't be RPGrinders without the Stinkos! Crooked politicians always make the Stinko list, even when they die. Some members of our government continue to ramp up their war on minority groups. They continue to push their religious views and disproven conspiracies about the LGBTQ+ community. These joy hating scrooges want to force gay orphans to live under religious oppression. Bah humbug to the scrooges. Bah humbug * 1000 to the genocidal maniacs and their bloodlust.  

The Stinkos may be naughty but the Sweetos are here to bring back the nice for this holiday season. What would the holidays be like without family? Less stressful. Family can be great but it can be just as great to get away from bad family members. As Frank celebrate his victory on the home front, another Grinder makes a tiny step in finding his Pride. Break got some new gay earrings. They are only gay because he is wearing them.

The holiday season just wouldn't be the same without a new tournament! That's right! What better way to celebrate the holidays than a tournament death match?! The 32 best holiday movies! Christmas, New Years Eve, Hanukkah, and even Groundhogs Day go head-to-head but there can only be one day of Christmas! Can Will Farrell's Buddy the Elf save Christmas and slay the tournament competition? (Victory tastes good but not as good as syrup on spaghetti.) Will Bill Murray's character reform his life while dodging Bobcat's shotgun and physically abusive ghosts? (He could really use a proton pack.) Does Adam Sandler's character find redemption after 8 Crazy Nights and give the only Hanukkah movie the power to fight the "War on Christmas"? ("The War on Christmas" lol some people are very stupid.) Is Die Hard the best holiday movie? (John McClain kills terrorists and blows shit up while dropping funny quips. What could be more Christmas than that?) Does Batman's holiday Return strike fear into the hearts of the competition? (It should. Three words: Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman.) Can Bill Murray and the rest of the Ghostbuster's save the new year from a genocidal ghost and 31 other holiday movies? (SEE! Told you he could have used a proton pack.) Will Krampus be able to overcome all of the Holiday cheer? (Note to self: In the middle of a blizzard. Don't let your teenage daughter walk to her boyfriend's house.) Is representing two holidays cheating? (Trading Places says no.) Is Jim Carrey's green meanie going to steal Christmas from the happy little Woos and victory from the rest of the tournament competitors? (Jim Carrey was MEANT to play characters with green faces.)

The holidays are just beginning. Time is running out. So if you kiddies haven't tricked your parents into thinking you were a good kid all year long, you still have some time! Just like all good kids, be sure to download RPGrinders and listen every week! All good parents make sure their children never miss an episode.

 

 

Important Announcement. Repeat after me: Die Hard IS a Christmas movie. Gremlins IS a Christmas movie. Lethan Weapon IS a Christmas movie. Groundhog's Day is NOT a Christmas movie.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You better not cry. You better not shout. The RPGrinders know if you have been Stinko or Sweeto.

 

RPGrinders EP 767 - The Deadpan Bed Pan

In the last episode before Thanksgiving (and Frank's Vegas vacation), chat has an obsession with chiding Frank with bed pan's, Frank is agony over Agony, Break Man rejoices in Planned Parenthood's return to Ohio (and the implications therein), and Eric discusses Sega's planned effort to union bust by laying off a ton of employees(not a great move Sega)!  Join us LIVE every Friday 7EST here: http://twitch.tv/RPGrinders we would love to interact with you!  Thanks for listening!

RPGrinders EP 766 - Don’t Poop on the Dance Floor!

Imagine if you will, a calm relaxing show where everyone is getting along and absolutely no one is getting exiled for any reason.  Now fast forward about an hour into to that show and BAM YOU'RE EXILED!  Well that was the reality of this show because for some reason Frank didn't exile anybody until his beloved Bernie B decided to crash the party and get the exile button rolling!  Oh yah and there was stuff about video games and politics.......and stuff.  Join us LIVE every Friday 7EST here: http://twitch.tv/RPGrinders! Thanks for listening!

RPGrinders EP 764 - Non-Alcoholic Beer is Scary

1... 2... The RPGrinders are coming for you. 3... 4... Break will even the score. 5... 6... Eric is pulling dirty tricks. 7... 8... Frank will seal your fate. 9... 10... Let the nightmarish fun begin! 

The nightmare begins with an extra short news section. Although most games have already given their 2023 release dates, the Grinders were able to dig some new release dates. Radiant Silvergun is coming to the PC, 9 Years of Shadows is coming to the Switch, and Blasphemous 2 is coming to last generation systems. All three games are going to be released within the next few weeks. 

A nightmare would not be proper without a good scary movie. Frank reviews the horror video game adaption of Five Nights at Freddy's. Will this movie leave you up and night crying for your mommy? Only Frank knows for sure. Unlike Frank, Break didn't seem to get the memo. He reviewed another video game related adaption, the very unscary Dragon Quest: The Adventure of Dai.

Nothing could be more horrifying than the Grinders own version of Hell, the Stinkos. As usual, Break has a list of complaints to terrify the listeners. A list that grows as the show is happening! A list of death, destruction, and greed. Crooked politicians, fun hating priests, the continual failures of the United States police force, the deaths of beloved celebrities (RIP Richard Moll), and an escalating war/genocide. As if those weren't enough, Frank has gotten sick and a mentally ill man is on the run in Michigan after committing acts of pure evil. 

As scary as the news may be the light of the Sweetos peaks through the pitch-black nights. A couple of those nights will be enjoyed by Bernie. She is long overdue. Maybe she will spend that extra time playing Tales of Arise with Frank or getting ready to celebrate the unholiest of nights, All Hallow's Eve.

Nothing embodies the horror of the night as a good scary movie. What makes a scary movie "good"? That's right! The KILLS! On this unholy night the Grinders finally decide the Greatest Kill of All Time! A lot of monstrous legends have already fallen and only 8 remain. Is Freddy Frueger's teenage girl killing television scarier than a nurse meeting her fate to the Gemini Killer? Will Art the Clown's unconventional gynecological skills out gore the master of killing ingenuity, Jason Vorhees? If Jason's cold-snap kill isn't gruesome enough, maybe his creative use of a sleeping bag will slay the competition? Is Norman Bates' shower scene thrilling enough to topple the unkillable Jason Vorhees?

The good guys didn't want to be left out of frightening fun. Is Conan's ultimate act of revenge a better kill than the quip dropping Furiosa's face ripping fatality? Only one hero will walk away from this round but how will they fair in the next round? One hero versus three villains. The odds are not in the hero's favor. 

The horror maybe over for now but a new nightmare will always be waiting around the corner. Ghosts, goblins, vampires, police, werewolves, politicians, serial killers, and squirrels are only a few of the things that go bump in the night. They grow more powerful on the night of Halloween but they don't disappear in the morning.

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anal of time or anals of time? Am I still getting this wrong? 

 

 

 

RPGrinders EP 762 - RPGeezers (aka Happy Birthday Eric!)

As we come ever closer to the spookiest of holidays. The night seems to come sooner. It feels colder with every passing day. Once again, the dead walk the Earth. The oblivious mortals celebrate with sin and sweets. With the feeling of death in the air, it could only mean one thing. That's right, Friday the 13th of October! It's time to celebrate the man who Satan admires, Eric! The true meaning of the Halloween is finally revealed. It's because the things that go Bump in the Night party until November! Happy Birthday, Eric!

What better way is there to honor Eric then starting the show with his hard researched news? None! That's right. Not only should you thank him for Halloween. You need to thank him for the news! There are even a few releases to celebrate Eric's holiday. Sand of Aura, Little Goody Two Shoes and The Unliving all release before November. But if your gaming schedule is booked up until the end of the month, In Stars and Time and Hollow Cocoon release before the end of the year.

Even though this episode is a party, the Grinders spend time talking about the senseless killing happening in Israel and Palestine. The Grinders stand with the innocent people caught in the middle of another horrific war. Fuck all of the genocidal madmen involved! After spending time addressing the nightmare of a situation, the Grinders pivot to something more fun. The Sweetos! What could be sweeter than celebrating Eric's Birthday? Nothing! The party is so good, even the spirits are waking up to celebrate! 

No celebration of darkness and everything awesome would be complete without another tournament! Sixty-four of the most gruesome kills and murders in cinema history! Who will claim the title of greatest movie killer? Will Freddy Krueger introduce the Predator to prime-time television? Will Leatherface use his mallet to add Alien tartare to the menu? Will the ageless wizard Shang Tsung steal Norman Bates' soul, or will Mother save his day? Pamela Vorhees has forever had to take second-fiddle to her famous son Jason. Will she be able to claim the title of best killer in the family or will Jason teach her the proper use for a sleeping bag? Will Negan and Lucille when the double team match against Elvira and her basketball? 

The bad guys weren't the only killers to compete. Some of the heroes have been proven to be just as brutal. Heroes like John Wick and John McClane are proficient with guns but how many killers are as deadly with an icicle or a pencil? Will Indiana Jones teach Connan to never bring his giant sword to a gun fight? Will Kung Lao teach Connor Macleod not to bring a sword to a hat fight? Can the quick reflexes of a cyborg overcome the face ripping vengeance of Furiosa?

As the darkness grows closer and streets get quiet, don't worry. There is no need to be afraid. The ghosts and goblins are only stirring because they want to party too! Just cause your dead is no excuse to not celebrate Eric's Birthday.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I reeeeeeeally wanted to name the show Hollow Cock but that seemed kinda rude.

 

 

 

RPGrinders EP 761- The More You Kill

IT'S OCTOBERFEST!  This episode we have just a bit of news and it's fortunate because we have a HUGE October tournament!  Frank gives his review of Castlevania Nocturne, Break talks some upcoming votes on the dockett in Ohio, and Eric reviews the follow up series to Adventure Time!  Join us every Friday 7EST here: http://twitch.tv/RPGrinders and thanks for listening!

RPGrinders EP 759 - Taste the Biscuit

The long hot Summer is over. No more bathing suits, BBQs, sunburns, and mosquitos. Making way for the tastiest of all seasons, Pumpkin Spice Season. Unlike these seasons, the Grinders don't take off the rest of the year! We will be here for Pumpkin Spice Season, Spooky Season, Football Season, Baseball Season, Basketball Season, Air-Conditioning Season, Spring, and the worst season of them all, Frostbite Season. It's ALWAYS Grinder Season! 

Unlike Pumpkin Spice, we all will be able to enjoy these releases long into the Freezing Your Ass Off Season. A new entry in the Like a Dragon series, Infinite Wealth, the Apollo Justice Ace Attorney trilogy, Rushing Beat X, and The Legends of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel 3 and 4 all come out early next year. For the people not willing to wait till next year, Blossom Tails 2 and Triggerheart Exelica will both release before the end of the Empty Wallet Season. 

Every Friday is Grinder Season. The season wouldn't be as magical if we didn't address our Stinkoes and celebrate our Sweetoes. It just wouldn't be a normal season unless Break was angry about the Ohio Republican Party. It would be a first if the police managed to not piss off Frank and to not be a Stinko. We all know they are and we know they will make a "guest" appearance next Grinder Season. It isn't not all bad news for the Police as they finally get to celebrate a Sweeto... sorta.

This Grinder Season wouldn't be complete without the final results of the of latest and greatest tournament known to humankind! This Season the Grinders finally decide who will be the Greatest Mascot of All Time. Sixty-four of the great ones entered. Now eight remain. Only one can be champion. Will Ronald McDonald and his Happy Meal Gang be able to fend off the one Chef wrecking crew known as Boyardee? Will the Scrubbin Bubbles clean up the mess the Kool-Aid man left? Will the too cool for school Spuds McKenzie enjoy a free trip to Geoffrey's castle or will the Giraffe send Spuds home crying to his house full of Dallas Cheerleaders? Will two attractive twins be able to win against a Man who is so Interesting that even his beard has its own fan club? 

Another Grinder Season has come and gone. Don't worry because Grinder Season will be back next Friday LIVE and hopefully not as buggy! Grinder Season will be here through all of the other less awesome seasons!

 

 

 

 

 

Public service announcements:

Don't be on that bitter old man shit. 

Don't forget to have your Break Man spayed or neutered. 

RPGrinders EP 758 - Happy Berfday Bernie!

This episode the guys tear through a bunch of news, Eric reviews Lisa, Break Man of course details some more nonsense from the Ohio GOP, and Frank finally finishes and reviews Breath of the Wild!  Oh and it's Bernies's Birthday tomorrow!  Join us LIVE every Friday 7EST http://twitch.tv/RPGrinders and on YouTube!  Thanks for listening!