RPGrinders

RPGrinders EP 733 - No Butts

It's currently award season in America. The time of year when actors, musicians, video games, and many more are flaunted over and rewarded with shiny trophies. The RPGrinders have even awarded some games with the ultimate award, the GOAT. But what about the bad games and movies? The bad movies have the Razzies but what about video games? The Grinders have a solution! Today they will determine the Worst Movie to Video Game adaption! 

The Worst Game is only a small part of the show. Things go wrong from the start as Break botches the opening in place of a sick Frank. But the Grinders wont let that stop them from bringing the news, reviews, Stinkos, Sweetos, and maybe a little surprise. 

As always, the Grinders start with the news but in shorter form than usual. With Frank sick the Grinders don't spend as much time on the news as normal but that doesn't mean it is useless information. There were some new announcements: like the PC and mobile King Arthur: Legends Rise and the action RPG TMNT: the Last Ronin. No release date has been given for those two games but Caligula Effect: Overdose and Miasma Chronicles were given late May release dates. If May is too long a wait, Squenix has you covered with their Voice of Cards trilogy.

Even though Frank is fighting the deadly cold virus he is able to give three new movie reviews! Are Utah Cabin Murders, Knock at the Cabin, or Puss in Boots worth the admission price? Maybe the first rule of horror movies should be "Don't go to a Cabin in the Woods." Coincidentally, Eric also reviewed a movie in the Shrek universe. As well as the made for men, lesbian anime Yurikuma Arashi. 

If you haven't figured out Frank's Stinko then I won't spoil the germy surprise. Of course, Republicans and Democrats make the list EVERY week. This time they are joined by their enabling mass media.  

In happier happenings, Break is enjoying some long over-due Halo Infinite updates and Frank is excited for John Wick 4.

Thanks, for listening. Be sure to check us out every Friday LIVE at 7 PM Eastern.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wait, isn't there something else....

 

THE WORST VIDEO GAME TO MOVIE ADAPTION OF ALL TIME!

 

Only 8 games remain but only one can earn the dubious title! Will E.T. gobble up the competition like a bag of Reece's Pieces or will he be stuck in that hole forever? Will Shrek Swamp Kart Racer live up to its new name, Swamp Ass? Does the Last Action Movie game suck worse than the movie reviews? (Fuck them! That movie rules!) Will Platoon live up to NES tradition of bad movie game adaptions? (Spoiler Alert. Yes. Yes it will.) Is Enter the Matrix the first (and only) thing that Keanu Reeve's can't save? Can Abraham Lincoln fighting Tyler Durden make an entertaining Fight Club game? (Spoiler Alert: No. No they can't.) What ya gonna do when a friend puts Bad Boys Miami in your PS2? Hint, get a new friend. Or better yet. Make your friend play the Gamecube's ultimate shame, Catwoman. 

RPGrinders EP 732 - Titans of Trash part 3

Holy smoking swamp ass! This episode of RPGrinder has the crew go through a fair bit of news, with highlights being some release dates, Stranger of Paradise escaping the Epic dungeon, a new Toxic Crusaders game(that looks good and totally isn't a TMNT rip-off)and a new Tou-ho(not WHO) Action-RPG. Afterwards, Eric reviews some Ecchi trash with Testament of Sister New Devil and Cat Planet Cuties. Frank on the other hand reviews Cocaine Bear and the Last of Us(HBO Max series). After the usual stinkos and sweetos, Round 3 of the worst movie to game adaptation tourney comences. will Last Ass Hero take the win in the end, or will Cool World create an upset? tune in to found out, and be sure to catch the conclusion live on Friday at 7 PM EST on Twitch/youtube!

RPGrinders EP 731- Queeftoon!

This episode we have a ton of news, Eric gets his groovy car back, Frank thinks everythin is 'Ass', and Break Man never disappoints with his stinkos! This week Break's stinko's include that POS train company wrecking Ohio and other states.  Make sure to join us every Friday 7EST LIVE here: http://twitch.tv/RPGrinders and as always thank you for listening! 

RPGrinders Review #48 - Metroid Prime Remastered

I review the long-awaited Switch remaster of the classic Gamecube original!

RPGrinders Review #47 - Pronty: A Fishy Adventure

I review the Switch version of this fun but challenging Underwater Metroidvania!

RPGrinders EP 730 - ASS!

The Grinders are back another show of asstastic proportions! The first week of March 2023 is overstuffed and with news, reviews, stinkos, bad video games, and more asses than the Democratic National Convention. So now it's time to strap in, pop open a cold one, and get ready to for an extra-long episode of RPGrinders!

The Grinders waste little time getting to the news. With some games releasing as early as Asspril, why wait? Trinity Trigger is getting a North American April release only a couple of days before the release of Mugen Souls. Along with the new release news, a couple Pokemon games will be receiving some DLC. Pokemon Scarlet and Diamond can enjoy the updates later this year. DLC has also been announced for Elden Ring but the release date is unknown. 

This asspisode of Grinders also features the return of Dear BreakMan! Not trying to spoil the segment but it involves animals and drugs. 

Ass usual, Break has enough Stinkos to make his own podcast. A familiar list of Break's complaints: abortion access and restrictions, the hypocrisy of our elected officials, and the horrific actions of police officers. Meanwhile, Frank deals with some family issues. 

The start of a new month also means the start of a new tournament! This episode the Grinders complete the first round to determine the Worst Movie to Video Game Adaption Ever Made! The age-old question will be answered, does E.T. phone home or get booted from the first round? Is there a good NES game based on a movie? (Yes, but not on this list!) Is the Cool World video game worse than it's an assbolutely awful movie? Robocop has beat a crooked CEO, a drugged out super robot, and samurai androids but does he have a video game worth playing? Is the first rule of Fight Club not to talk about the Fight Club video game? (A great line. I had to borrow it.)

Join the Grinders LIVE at 7 PM Eastern next Friday for the second round. We will be one step closer to determining which game is the worst piece of ass. Until then, keep your monkey sober.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cocaine Caterpillar                                  Cocaine Condor

Speed Sloth                                              Speed Snail

Heroin Hawk                                            Heroin Hippo 

Marijuana Mongoose                               Marijuana Mink

Ecstasy Eel                                                 Ecstasy Eagle

Meth Manatee                                           Meth Markhor

Acid Ape                                                    Acid Alligator

Magpie Molly                                            Molly Mole

Angel Dust Alligator

Crack Crocodile

 

 

RPGrinders EP 729 - The New Hotness is the Old Hotness?

In this charged episode of RPGrinders, the crew gets through the usual news cycle. Some highlights are Elden Ring hitting 20 million in sales and a new RPG called Xicatrice. Afterword Eric and Frank have some adult oriented reviews with Eric reviewing Super Hxeros and Frank reviewing Perfect Blue. Stinkos are the usual, but Frank especially is about the exploitation of the elderly for the sake of profit. Also, this episode presents the finale to the other mini tournament: Who will walk away with the illustrious title of Hottest Game character of all time? Be sure to listen in to this and  the live episodes Fridays at 7 PM EST on Twitch/Youtube!

 

RPGrinders Review #46 - Pokemon Let’s Go Evee and Pikachu!

I review the Evee version of this somewhat remake of Gen 1 for the Switch!

RPGrinders EP 728 - The Short and Sweet

This episode Break breaks down the toxic spill situation in Ohio and the governors lack of response to it, Eric as always brings us the news, and Frank remembers the day games were 60 bucks.  Well that and people crying about todays game prices.  Follow us on Twitter @RPGrinders and catch us LIVE every Friday 7EST http://twitch.tv/RPGrinders

RPGrinders EP 727 - Professor Layton: Steamier Than Ever

The RPGrinders are back with an episode that is 2 HOT 4 U. An episode filled with queefing internets, game remasters, reviews old and new, Break Man's stupidity, and the most important tournament in human history. Just like a real queef, nothing will stop them from getting the job done! 

The news doesn't have any queefs but it does have some new game announcements, solid release dates, remasters, collections, and reboots. The Fantasy Life i: the Girl Who Steals Time and the copaganda crime suspense RPG Decapolice are in the works. This May will see the release of Darkest Dungeon 2 while August will be getting Sea of Stars. For those looking for nostalgia can look forward to the returns of Bain Kaitos, Advance Wars, and an overpriced Etrian Odyssey collection.

Queefs happen rarely but even more rarely do all three Grinders have reviews for cartoons! It's the gauntlet of cartoons, no less, as each Grinder reviews a different kind of animation. Break spent his time watching the legendary kids cartoon Batman: the Animated Series. Eric watched something a bit more adult oriented, the entire series of the comedy anime Food Wars. However, those are both tame compared to Frank's viewing of the VERY adult second season of Vox Machina. 

Queefing is a mild inconvenience, at most, but the Stinkos are anything but mild. As usual, Break is pissed about a lot of things that are completely outside his control. Domestic gun violence, earthquakes, and fascism coming to Ohio frustrate him but not to the level of Frank's frustration. He's angry with the racists living in Southern Colorado. Bigotry in America is getting worse every year, that should make us all feel sick. Racism is worse than the illness Eric is fighting (get better asap)! It is very much like a tumor. It is a cancer on society. Just like the cancer Eric's aunt is battling (Good luck to her. We hope for only the best. Fuck cancer!) it is killing us from the inside. Hopefully, there will be a safe effect cure for cancer one day soon. 

With so much bad news there is only one way to cleanse the pallet, the Greatest Tournament Ever Created! Just like a queef, once it starts it can't be stopped. It's time to move forward to the next round of the second tournament.  That's right, the month of love and cupid is giving us two tournaments for the price of one!

The first tournament was cute and queef-free but today's tournament is hot and moist. Thirty-two of the HOTTEST video game men and women enter, but which one will be able to out sexy the rest? Will Jill Valentine survive a zombie apocalypse and Cammy's tight tushy? Can Cloud Stryfe overcome the lack of a personality and his friend Zack Fair? Will the busty bestie Tifa Lockhart triumph over a dinosaur slaying, treasure hunter named Lara Croft? Will Jade overcome Break's ignorance and Cid's granddaughter? Will the half-demon Dante put a stake through the heart of the half-vampire Alucard? Will Miranda Lambert move on or will she queef her chance away?

Thanks for reading, downloading, and listening. Please join us this Friday as the Grinders decide the Cutest video game character of ALL TIME. Happy Valentines Day and may you queef with the one you love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, and Break. Say it with us. Jade is a MAN.