RPGrinders

RPGrinders EP 718 - Fuck Me, Santa

HO HO HO Holy shit, the RPGrinders are back with another brand-new episode. What's happening in this jolly episode? The holiday season is in full swing, the news is jam packed, the greastest tournament ever returns for a second round, Frank has some nice words for a bad man, Break still hates the government, and Eric is forced to tolerate them both.

With the holidays comes cold weather and cold weather gives us plenty of time to game! Although these games won't be out in time for this winter, maybe you we can spend next winter playing some of the recently announced titles (if they are released, of course). The walking simulator is returning for Death Stranding 2, a return to Greek mythology for Hades 2, a cutesy version of Bayonetta, or from the ashes of Remnant 2?

If those games don't release in time for the holidays, don't worry because Squenix has us covered! They have finally announced the release date for the 16th title in the most storied of gaming franchises, Final Fantasy! It comes out in the middle of the year but it will probably go on sale for the 2023 holiday season.

The review portion of the show is shorter than normal but it is a Feast. 

If all the holiday cheer and good tidings are getting on your nerves, the Stinkoes are what you need. The Grinders all have a lot of complaints. As usual, Break is pissed off at Donald Trump and the Republicans but is he also as pissed at the Democrats? Frank is even more angry at Trump and his threats against the United States of America. As bad as all of those were, they don't compare to Eric's terrible week!

If you aren't over the holidays and are looking for good cheer, nothing will leave you more surprised than Frank's Sweeto.

What's worse than getting a gift you don't want or seeing someone's disappointment at what you bought them? The Worst Movie of All Time! Only 32 sucktacular movies are still on the list but only 16 can continue. Will the Blair Witch bore us more than House of the Dead offends our intelligence? Which hit movie was more overrated, Men in Black 2 or Mrs. Doubtfire? Is the offensive and badly cast Dragon Ball Evolution worse than the shit burger that is Double Dragon? Will It's a Wonderful Life, the Christmas "classic", Crash and burn? Four Batman turds (it's why he smells) started the tournament, will any move on, or will only Robin lay the egg? Who is the worse actor, Rob Zombie's wife or Lindsay Lohan? Velocipastor, is there anything more to say?

Grab your cookies, pour yourself some holiday spirits, crowd around the fireplace, and stream our latest episode of tomfoolery and cheer. Happy holidays to everyone!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Except for traitors of democracy. They can go fuck themselves. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RPGrinders EP 716 - Black Friday

We scratch, punch, and pull hair on our way to the front of the line in this episode!  Break once again has a couple of mass shootings to report, Eric reminds everyone to check the podbean rpgrinders feed for his awesome audio reviews, and Frank wants to remind everybody that both Democrat and Republican politicians suck and its time for more parties. Be sure to join us LIVE on http://twitch.tv/RPGrinders every Friday 7EST and join the chat!  Thanks for listening!

RPGrinders EP 715 - Turkey and Turds

The Holiday Season is almost upon us. By this time, next week, our stomachs will be bloated with Thanksgiving turkey. Our wallets will be empty from Black Friday shopping. And our ears will bleed from hearing Jiggle Bells for the ten millionth time.

There are a lot of good news article. None quite as tasty as a perfectly cooked turkey but some are just as juicy. It does get much tastier than the announcement that Witcher 3: Wild Hunt is getting free updates to the current generation of consoles. We also learned the release dates of Superfuse and Sword of the Vagrant.

With Black Friday only a week away, Frank has a special present for the listeners. He combed all the major ads to find the best gaming deals. With Frank's deals you won't just have leftover food but also leftover money!

With the shopping over with and the main meal consumed, it's time to chill. Sit down on the couch. Relax and wait for pie. While you wait, you can check out some of the shows and movies reviewed today. Are adult comic book shows, like Titans and Creepshow, worth watching? Was the highly anticipated One Piece Red worth the wait? If you are looking for a good scare, will Shark bait or Smile give you the thrills you desire? 

The one thing that should never be a part of Thanksgiving dinner is the vile green bean casserole.  Green bean casserole is the Stinko of Thanksgiving dinner. Like the democracy hating Ohio Republicans are the Stinko of Ohio. And the racist governor Youngkin is the Stinko of Virginia.

The only thing sweeter than the cranberry sauce is the news that Nancy Pelosi will be stepping down. That isn't even the best of our Sweetos as Frank is making movie progress and Break's best friend got great news from the doctor.

What's the best side? Is it mashed potatoes in gravy? Is it corn, or rolls? No matter which side you choose, they are all more enjoyable than the Worst Arcade Game Ever Made! Today is the day we finally determine which game is more terrible than the smells coming from the bathroom, the day after Thanksgiving. Will the bastard game of the storied Mortal Kombat series Finish the competition? Is the original Street Fighter as bad as Break says? Is Mil really Pac-Man's Pal? Is Vulgus as vulgar as Frank says? Is Art of Fighting the lamest fighting game ever made? Is Double Dragon 3 the turd that Eric says? Is Toobin's stupid control as stupid as the game play? Or is Time Traveler the misogynistic, racial stereo typed, poorly acted, overpriced, impossible to play, shit burger of a game ever made?

Happy Thanksgiving! Or if you have legitimate problems with the holiday, then I just wish thanks to you and yours! And thanks to our listeners!

 

 

 

 

Except, Freak.

 

 

 

 

 

JK!

 

 

 

 

 

You know we love you, Freak!

 

 

 

 

RPGrinders EP 713- The One Where Eric Gets Pissed

Watch out because in this episode Eric is on a rampage! (not really but gotta get those clicks and views right?). After the news, the guys talk diversity (or lack thereof) in games, Frank is still sick, Break notices an uptick in racial tensions on twitter, and finally we start our "Worst Arcade Game of all Time" tournament!  Follow us on Twitter @RPGrinders, and be sure to join us LIVE every Friday 7EST right here: twitch.tv/rpgrinders

 Thanks for listening!

RPGrinders EP 712 - Night of the Living Butt-Head

The air is getting cooler. The days are getting shorter. And the RPGrinders are back with one last episode before the celebration of the holiest of holidays, Samhain!

It's once again time to celebrate the return of the dead. For one evening they will rejoin our plain of existence. The living and the dead will walk amongst each other. Some of the dead will torment the living. Some of the living will get a chance to get back that $5 that was borrowed right before the borrower died. All will celebrate the glory that is Samhain.

The only way to properly start the celebration of Samhain, is with the traditional reading of the news. The celebration only lasts for a day but by the time you recover, on the 3rd of November, Sword and Fairy: Together Forever will be available on the Xbox. Unfortunately, several games don't arrive until long after the blessed day. Wo Long: Fallen Destiny, Loop8: Summer of Gods, and another update to Fallout 4 won't arrive until next year.

It's not a widely known fact, but some of the dead only return for one night of movie binging. Television access in the afterlife is spotty, at best. With the dead in mind the Grinders have several great movie recommendations. If they are looking for a constant reminder of their own demise, 28 Days Later, 28 Weeks Later, and the legendary Night of the Living Dead! If the dead are just looking for some laughs, they may enjoy League of Super-Pets, the Rise of Gru, or the return of the stupidest teenagers in cartoon history: Beavis & Butt-Head! However, the dead should beware of movies like Morbius and the Sawyer Family Massacre. Those movies will make them wish they had stayed dead.

On Samhain, we will feast. We will dance. We will celebrate and commit ritual sacrifices! Before the fun can begin, the Grinders need to address everyone's favorite segment, the Stinkos! Frank is forced to fight one of man's oldest foes, the common cold. Break is angry about America's lack of fundamental gun laws. But not as angry as Eric is about the vile Florida politicians attacks on the Trans community. Unlike shitty "conservatives", Samhain does not discriminate! 

With the worst out of the way, it is time to celebrate the greatest of all Sweetos: Samhain. Dia do los Muertos. All Saints Day. Or by which it is most commonly referred, Halloween!

What better way to celebrate Samhain than to finally choose the Scariest Game of All Time?! Sixty-four games fought valiantly but now only the top four remain! What will be the scariest game of all time? Will Isaac be able to survive the horrors unleashed by cultist alien worshipers? Will a young college student save us all from the evil Ancients? Can detective Sebastian Castellanos survive the twisted world of Ruvik? Will Amanda Ripley find her mother or end up just another victim of the xenomorphs? They are all scary but which one will make you crap your pants? 

Samhain comes but once a year. The most wonderful time of the year!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How the fuck do you pronounce 'Samhain'??

Saa-wn? Sow-Wen? Sow-Unn? Sau-ihn? Sah-vin?

 

 

 

 

 

 

RPGrinders EP 710 - Ooooooh Spooooooky!

This episode we dig in to round 3 of our scariest game of all time, short news cycle, Eric has a couple of new reviews on the feed, Eric and Frank review She Hulk and Halloween Ends (don't miss this!), and Break laughs at Alex Jones!  All this and more on a great episode of the Grinders!  Join us LIVE every Friday 7EST here: http://twitch.tv/RPGrinders Thanks for listening!

RPGrinders EP 709 - Drinking & Fake Driving

All Hollow's Eve draws near. The temperatures are getting brisk. The leaves are rotting and covering the ground. Tree rats are beginning to gather their nuts for the long winter haul. Little bastards are preparing their costumes to pester their neighbors for candy. And the true sign of the Haunted Holiday, the Grinders are back with round two of the tournament to determine the Scariest Game of All Time!

As usual, the Grinders start the show with the latest news. There is good news for some, like the free update coming to Soul Hackers 2 and a reasonably priced Day 1 special edition of Trinity Trigger. Unfortunately, it's not good news for everyone as Tri Ace deals with large financial losses.

For the second week in a row, the Grinders have more reviews than the local newspaper! Eric gives his reviews of couple of Disney+ Star Wars shows. Frank reviews the new Beavis and Butthead, again, and it's still glorious! And Break, FINALLY, reviews The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.

It wouldn't be RPGrinders without the Stinkos. Politics is always a Stinko but Break and Frank seem particularly pissed. The closer we get to the election, the worse the ads.

As bad as the Stinkos get, the Grinders can always fall back on the Sweetos to perk them back up. For Frank, nothing could be sweeter than the feeling of buying a new game system. Meanwhile, Eric & Break celebrate the spoils of Frank's trip to Vegas. 

Did we mention there was a tournament to determine the Scariest Video Game of All Time?! The Grinders word is law and whatever game wins will be officially the scariest. But what will it be? Will Chris & Jill overcome the horrors of a mansion and a town called Silent Hill? Will a camera be a powerful enough to tool to stave off the terrifying Scissor Man? Is it scarier trapped in space or locked up in school? Can a convict Outlast real demons and his internal demons? With only 3 weeks left of October, we won't have to wait long for the answers!

Thank you for listening and don't forget to wish Eric a Happy Birthday! 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Amphibians, please remember to hide your offspring around Grogu.

 

 

 

 

RPGrinders EP 707- Doctor Jerkyll

This episode we break a record for most news stories, Break and Frank lament football losses, we determine the worst Nintendo game of all time, and Eric talks steam deck and waiting on certain games to go on sale.  All this and more before Frank goes on vacation to Las Vegas for Bernies Birthday Bash!  See you all in 2 weeks!  Follow us on Twitter @RPGrinders and be sure to join us LIVE Fridays 7EST on Youtube or on http://twitch.tv/RPGrinders.  Thanks for listening!

RPGinders EP 706 - The Joker: Husband and Father

On this later summer episode, the Grinders find themselves under a time crunch. There is usually enough time for news, Stinkos, and reviews; but this episode has a lot of news, drama filled Stinkos, 10+ reviews, and a brand-new tournament! Can they get it all done? Will they? They will because they must!

As the fall grows ever closer, some companies are readying themselves for the final releases of 2022. The rest of the gaming industry and the news has begun the shift to 2023 and beyond. Two of the games with the most badass names, Grimgrimoire Oncemore and Process of Elimination (see, I told you the names were badass), are getting Spring releases, while Cyberpunk 2077 will be getting the Phantom Liberty expansion. 

The Stinkos cause some division between the chatroom and the hosts. Tension is completely understandable as the American people try to navigate a new reality, in which women's healthcare is now criminalized by the state. Although we don't all agree on how things should be handled, we can all agree that we wish a speedy recovery to our very own Bernie and to the wife of our favorite Freak. 

As the clock ticks down, the Grinders have to work hard as they have over TEN reviews! The majority of the reviews are for Marvel and DC movies, TV shows, and even a Video game. Break spent his time binging Batman, Nightwing, and the Teen Titans. While Eric immersed himself in the MCU with Captain America, the Scarlet Witch, Ms. Marvel, Thor, and his brother Loki. And Frank joined the crew of the Milano to save the galaxy!

The Grinders are running out of time, but they have a tournament to start. They only have the rest of the episode and episode 707 to answer the Greatest question known to mankind: What is the Worst NES game ever made? Was it an 8-bit Dolorian taking Marty McFly to shitty places? Is the worst RPG ever made (Hydlide) also the worst NES game? Is Uncle Fester as bad at being a video game hero as he is at fashion? What does T & C Surf Design stand for, Trash & Crap Surf Design? Where's Waldo? He's trapped in a shit game that induces eye bleeding. 

32 pieces of shit enter. Only 1 won't get flushed. We find out which 1, on episode 707! Come join us as we put a crown on a piece of shit. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beware the Batman. He's a perv.

 

 

 

 

RPGrinders EP 704- Tika Massala Tease

This episode Freak5 trolls us with some Indian food pics on twitter, Frank reviews Orphan First Kill and gives his impression of House of Dragons, Break is still sick of politicians, and finally Eric points out how stupid the developer of Black Myth Wukong is.  Follow us on Twitter @RPGrinders and be sure to join us LIVE every Friday 7EST! Thanks for listening!!