RPGrinders EP 764 - Non-Alcoholic Beer is Scary

1... 2... The RPGrinders are coming for you. 3... 4... Break will even the score. 5... 6... Eric is pulling dirty tricks. 7... 8... Frank will seal your fate. 9... 10... Let the nightmarish fun begin! 

The nightmare begins with an extra short news section. Although most games have already given their 2023 release dates, the Grinders were able to dig some new release dates. Radiant Silvergun is coming to the PC, 9 Years of Shadows is coming to the Switch, and Blasphemous 2 is coming to last generation systems. All three games are going to be released within the next few weeks. 

A nightmare would not be proper without a good scary movie. Frank reviews the horror video game adaption of Five Nights at Freddy's. Will this movie leave you up and night crying for your mommy? Only Frank knows for sure. Unlike Frank, Break didn't seem to get the memo. He reviewed another video game related adaption, the very unscary Dragon Quest: The Adventure of Dai.

Nothing could be more horrifying than the Grinders own version of Hell, the Stinkos. As usual, Break has a list of complaints to terrify the listeners. A list that grows as the show is happening! A list of death, destruction, and greed. Crooked politicians, fun hating priests, the continual failures of the United States police force, the deaths of beloved celebrities (RIP Richard Moll), and an escalating war/genocide. As if those weren't enough, Frank has gotten sick and a mentally ill man is on the run in Michigan after committing acts of pure evil. 

As scary as the news may be the light of the Sweetos peaks through the pitch-black nights. A couple of those nights will be enjoyed by Bernie. She is long overdue. Maybe she will spend that extra time playing Tales of Arise with Frank or getting ready to celebrate the unholiest of nights, All Hallow's Eve.

Nothing embodies the horror of the night as a good scary movie. What makes a scary movie "good"? That's right! The KILLS! On this unholy night the Grinders finally decide the Greatest Kill of All Time! A lot of monstrous legends have already fallen and only 8 remain. Is Freddy Frueger's teenage girl killing television scarier than a nurse meeting her fate to the Gemini Killer? Will Art the Clown's unconventional gynecological skills out gore the master of killing ingenuity, Jason Vorhees? If Jason's cold-snap kill isn't gruesome enough, maybe his creative use of a sleeping bag will slay the competition? Is Norman Bates' shower scene thrilling enough to topple the unkillable Jason Vorhees?

The good guys didn't want to be left out of frightening fun. Is Conan's ultimate act of revenge a better kill than the quip dropping Furiosa's face ripping fatality? Only one hero will walk away from this round but how will they fair in the next round? One hero versus three villains. The odds are not in the hero's favor. 

The horror maybe over for now but a new nightmare will always be waiting around the corner. Ghosts, goblins, vampires, police, werewolves, politicians, serial killers, and squirrels are only a few of the things that go bump in the night. They grow more powerful on the night of Halloween but they don't disappear in the morning.

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anal of time or anals of time? Am I still getting this wrong?