RPGrinders

I review the Switch version of this remaster of a classic RPGMaker game!

After an experience so profound, the rest of this world has become meaningless. What do I mean, you may ask? Well, my friends. You can experience it to. All you have to do is give yourself to God. Our true Lord and Savior. 

May I ask you to do something selfish, for my sake? Please pray with me. 

 

Dear Lord,

Oh bless us, our Lord. Lay upon us your wisdom and your kick ass beats! May your light shine across the globe and may love blossom in even the darkest of places. May your words touch the hearts of others, as they have touched mine. May your gloriously curly hair and magical accordion skills keep us all enthralled for eternity. 

It was but another day to you, my Lord, but this humble servant will never forget watching you perform. To hear your angelic voice and see you in the flesh for the first time. My life is finally complete. I will spend the rest of my days spreading your name and message. Your words and melodies must be heard!

 

                                                             In Weird Al's name we pray, amen.

 

Anyhoo, I'm not here to sell you religion. I'm here to sell you a podcast! That's right! We have absolutely no affiliation with Mr. Yankovich. I am just using his name to gain listeners! MUHAHA 

The RPGrinders podcast is recorded LIVE the first 3 Fridays of the month. Three people, who are totally not sharing one mic in the basement of my mom's house.  We like to argue with and alienate our listen... I mean, we love to talk to our chatters. As we read the gaming news, give or reviews, or talk about the crap that pissed me off that week! 

So, what do you say? Give it a listen. Or how else will you find out the release dates for Battle Suit Aces, Merge Match March, and Rise Eterna 2. Don't say "the internet" because that is cheating! Don't be a cheater, just listen to our show. 

Or how would you know the Stinkos without listening? To "the internet," I say nay!  Besides, you can complain with me or tell me how wrong I am. That's never caused any arguments on this show... But why would anyone disagree with my one-sided takes on politics and everything else that annoys me? All of the crap coming from the current administration and their war on facts. They stepped-up their war on the Freedom of Speech, while trying to turn a bad man into a martyr. On top of all that, beloved actor Robert Redford died. Oh, and the other hosts had some stuff too.

Don't let any of those Stinkos get you down, because our Sweetos will bring you back up. After all, I finally saw God. He was glorious. The other hosts experiences were far less spiritual, but none the less uplifting. Praise the Lord! Hallelujah!

This is only a sample of our show. Just a small taste of what we give. So, drop to your hands and pray to the one true savior, "Weird" Al Yankovic and give us a shout out too!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The bad news is that I'm posting this episode late. The good news it's there now, so get off my back! No one will ever remember I was late. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don't care what anyone thinks, Slime Creatures From Outer Space freaking rules!!

 

The RPGrinders are back for the second week using a new platform. So, we humbly beg forgiveness for all of the new problems that have overlapped the old ones. At the very least, we ask that you blame Frank for all audio issues. Eric and Break take no accountability for issues here in.

:p

Issues be damned, the Grinders have a show to do! There is JRPG news that must be brought to the listeners attention and most of the Grinders are here to spread the word. Without the voices of the Grinders people would have to read for themselves about some of the upcoming releases. Games like Ys Vs Trails in the Sky: Alternative Saga and a physical copy of Metal Slug Tactics are releasing this year. Looking towards the horizon that is 2026 will see the releases of Fire Emblem: Fortunes Weave and Monster Hunters Stories 3.

The format may be new but that doesn't mean everything needs to change. The movie reviews are back, and one of them is an 80s classic. Break goes back nearly 40 years to review the Sigourney Weaver starring classic, Aliens. Along with the classic action title Frank has some new movie reviews. Will Dangerous Animals, the Toxic Avenger, or Voyeurs be considered classics in the 2060s? Only time will tell.

(I am highly disappointed in myself for using that joke.)

 Will we even have a country in 2060? The reality in America is increasingly looking grim. This week's Stinkos are headlined by the murder of a political firebrand who was known for spreading lies and bigotry. One political party seems to be using this murder as their excuse to justify some of the horrible plans they foreshadowed in Project 2025. These were always going to be the plans. They were just looking for the excuses. They thought they had found the perfect excuse this time, but the reality wasn't what they wanted. When reality doesn't fit their narrative, they rewrite the narrative. The RPGrinders do not justify murder, even if the victim did.

A little bit of a shortened show but the Grinders don't want to end on such a sad note. Instead, they end with the Sweetos! Among those is the return of Frank and Break's favorite sport, American Football. The NFL is back and starting with a bang. It's a needed mental distraction from the world falling apart around us. We all need mental stress breaks, just don't let them distract from what is truly important.

As things are seemingly getting more tense by the day, the future of this country looks bleak. Is it destined to fall like the many empires that have come before? Will this be the country that starts the spark that begins WW3? Is Break being paranoid and delusional, or is America still fighting a civil war against the legacy of the Confederacy? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I must find Harmie. His sweet melodies will help us get through these trying times!

 

 

 

 

I wanted to call the episode "White on White Violence" but I think that might get me in trouble.

They were supposed to upload this episode but they got high.

Not even going to explain the contents, but it is one to listen to, so give it a go!

Sorry for not having a show the last two weeks, but at least Eric has a summary of all the news you might have missed during that downtime! 

In this once again shorter episode, the crew might have a nice chunk of news, but they get through it pretty quickly. Highlights are that Fate/ Hollow Ataraxia Remastered gets a release, and Yukes buying Aquaplus. Afterword, Break reviews the first John Wick film, and Frank reviews Diablo IV. Stinkos abound as we commiserate the decline of democracy once again, but at least we can take some solace that MAGA is turning on Trump because of weed. And that more or less makes up the episode. If you want to tune in live for all the shenanigans , be sure to listen on Twitch/Youtube Fridays at 7 PM EST! 

I review the Steam version of this fun callback to a classic action game series!

P.S. - sorry for the edit SNAFU. I did the best I could.

I review the first PROPER Switch 2 exclusive game for the podcast, Donkey Kong Bananza!

 

This week has a huge amount of news including the announcement of a new Octopath game, Break has a huge amount of (name redacted) stinkos, Eric reviews Happy Gilmore 2, and finally Frank reviews Fantastic 4.  LIVE first 3 Fridays of the month http://twitch.tv/RPGrinders 7EST.  Thanks for listening!  Also Break is the GOAT at episode descriptions.......BROTHER!!!!!

The Grinders are back. WOOH! And we are ready to celebrate, brother. What ya gonna do when RPGrindermania runs wild on you?! The same ol' Grinders but now with more headbutts, low blows, and eye pokes than any Face could handle. WOOH!

In a surprising Face turn Break actually shows up on time to join Eric and Frank for a 3-Vs-News Hardcore Match. The Grinders challengers? The dreaded News is back. The News brought with it the announcement that the Dragon Quest soundtracks are coming to Apple Music. The next member of the News is a release date for Nicktoons and the Dice of Destiny. In a shocking Heel turn, Fate/Extra Record joins the News with a delay until next year.

After pinning the news for a 3 count, the Grinders moved on to their next matches against the Reviews. With skill and mastery of the top rope, Eric is able to dominate the spoiler free review of the Fantastic 4: First Steps. Meanwhile, Frank used his signature Sharpshooter to make the Dog Soldiers tap-out. In the squared circle, no werewolves are a match for professional wrasslers. Werewolves can't SMEEEEEELLLLL what Frank is cooking. 

The next match for the Grinders is against their greatest rival, the Stinkoes. It's a heated rivalry. Every fight ends in injuries or worse. Some former Grinders have never been heard from since. With the death of a music legend, the loss of an entire television network, and the funding cuts to the REAL news media, the Stinkoes are looking increasingly unbeatable. But if the Grinders want to be the man, they will have to beat the man. The Stinkoes are the man.

The Stinkoes are tough, but the Grinders have their own tag partners to help them even the score. The Sweetoes are back and they will always have the Grinder's backs. No Ladder Match is a match for the return of a favorite tv show or the death of a man who tainted wrestling for decades. Apparently, he didn't say his prayers or eat his vegetables.

With only one opponent left, the Grinders face off against their greatest challenge, the Panic Room. The only thing standing between the Grinders and shiny new belts. The ultimate slobberknocker, between 1st Amendment rights or going to jail. Can the Grinders triumph and hoist the gold they will soon wear around their waists? Or will the Grinders just have to get ready to suck it?

One thing is for sure; everyone just made it onto Eric's List. WOOH!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And that's the bottom line because BreakMan says so!