Episodes
Monday Feb 13, 2023
RPGrinders EP 727 - Professor Layton: Steamier Than Ever
Monday Feb 13, 2023
Monday Feb 13, 2023
The RPGrinders are back with an episode that is 2 HOT 4 U. An episode filled with queefing internets, game remasters, reviews old and new, Break Man's stupidity, and the most important tournament in human history. Just like a real queef, nothing will stop them from getting the job done!
The news doesn't have any queefs but it does have some new game announcements, solid release dates, remasters, collections, and reboots. The Fantasy Life i: the Girl Who Steals Time and the copaganda crime suspense RPG Decapolice are in the works. This May will see the release of Darkest Dungeon 2 while August will be getting Sea of Stars. For those looking for nostalgia can look forward to the returns of Bain Kaitos, Advance Wars, and an overpriced Etrian Odyssey collection.
Queefs happen rarely but even more rarely do all three Grinders have reviews for cartoons! It's the gauntlet of cartoons, no less, as each Grinder reviews a different kind of animation. Break spent his time watching the legendary kids cartoon Batman: the Animated Series. Eric watched something a bit more adult oriented, the entire series of the comedy anime Food Wars. However, those are both tame compared to Frank's viewing of the VERY adult second season of Vox Machina.
Queefing is a mild inconvenience, at most, but the Stinkos are anything but mild. As usual, Break is pissed about a lot of things that are completely outside his control. Domestic gun violence, earthquakes, and fascism coming to Ohio frustrate him but not to the level of Frank's frustration. He's angry with the racists living in Southern Colorado. Bigotry in America is getting worse every year, that should make us all feel sick. Racism is worse than the illness Eric is fighting (get better asap)! It is very much like a tumor. It is a cancer on society. Just like the cancer Eric's aunt is battling (Good luck to her. We hope for only the best. Fuck cancer!) it is killing us from the inside. Hopefully, there will be a safe effect cure for cancer one day soon.
With so much bad news there is only one way to cleanse the pallet, the Greatest Tournament Ever Created! Just like a queef, once it starts it can't be stopped. It's time to move forward to the next round of the second tournament. That's right, the month of love and cupid is giving us two tournaments for the price of one!
The first tournament was cute and queef-free but today's tournament is hot and moist. Thirty-two of the HOTTEST video game men and women enter, but which one will be able to out sexy the rest? Will Jill Valentine survive a zombie apocalypse and Cammy's tight tushy? Can Cloud Stryfe overcome the lack of a personality and his friend Zack Fair? Will the busty bestie Tifa Lockhart triumph over a dinosaur slaying, treasure hunter named Lara Croft? Will Jade overcome Break's ignorance and Cid's granddaughter? Will the half-demon Dante put a stake through the heart of the half-vampire Alucard? Will Miranda Lambert move on or will she queef her chance away?
Thanks for reading, downloading, and listening. Please join us this Friday as the Grinders decide the Cutest video game character of ALL TIME. Happy Valentines Day and may you queef with the one you love.
Oh, and Break. Say it with us. Jade is a MAN.
Thursday Jan 26, 2023
RPGrinders EP 724 - Don’t Be Rash
Thursday Jan 26, 2023
Thursday Jan 26, 2023
The RPGrinders are back again! It's another week and another excuse for Break not to do the news. Frank & Eric aren't fooled by Break's obvious ploy to get out of doing the news. They can'f force him to do his job. They are only left with one option, add it to the long list of complaints in this Stinko heavy episode.
New year brings new game and release date news. Switch gamers can look forward to Remnant: From the Ashes and Dokapon Kingdom Connect. March will see the the release of Little Witch Nobeta and the delayed Atelier Ryza 3. Giant mech lovers in Europe and North America will be getting the remake of Front Mission 1st.
This Stinko heavy episode also has another overstuffed segment. The reviews! The Grinders have been busy watching movies, old and new alike. Frank loves his horror but how does he feel about the new killer doll Megan and the anime classic Vampire Hunter D movies. Break seems to be obsessed with blood lately, as he watched two more horror movies, The Night of the Living Dead remake and the FANTASTIC Invisible Man! Eric bucks the trend and gives his view on Maverick's journey through both Top Gun movies.
As promised. The segment too big to compress. The Stinkos! As usual, Break has several Stinkos but he isn't alone. Is he alone in his thinking about elected House Representative George Santos, the blatant hypocrisy of a pro-Democrat media, or yet more evil committed by the police. Frank definitely agrees that the police are not our friends. He also believes people are overreacting to the new Pink Floyd logo, as well as some more personal Stinkos. Eric's controller died but more importantly, he has a very special message for American Airlines.
And then there were some Sweetos about football and movie scripts, or something. And a Free-4-All about something or other. But who cares? We all know it was today's Stinkos that truly mattered!
No one will ever know this episode was posted late.....MUHAHAHAHA
Friday Jan 06, 2023
RPGrinders EP 722 - The First of the New Year
Friday Jan 06, 2023
Friday Jan 06, 2023
In our inaugural episode of the year, Eric brings us a special deal on the eshop for Hollow Knight, Break Man revels in Kevin Mcarthy's failed bids to become house speaker and finally Frank almost breaks his hip trying to get to the scene of an accident. All this and much more on this episode of the Grinders! Follow us on Twitter @RPGrinders and be sure to join us LIVE 7 EST every Friday on Twitch here http://twitch.tv/RPGrinders thanks for listening!
Saturday Dec 31, 2022
RPGrinders EP 721 - Goodbye to You, 2022
Saturday Dec 31, 2022
Saturday Dec 31, 2022
The Grinders are back for the last episode of 2022. It's time to move on from the old and bring in the new. But first it's time to look back at the year that was! So pop open the champagne. Get out the streamers. Make your New Year's Resolutions. And ring in the new year with the RPgrinders.
Is there a better way to look ahead than the latest news stories of upcoming releases? January is going to start the year off right with the release of We Are the Caretakers, early access to Glimmer in Mirror, and new dlc for Strangers of Paradise.
The RPGrinders wouldn't dream of ending the year without Stinkos. As usual, Break has a lot of complaints. Is he ever not mad? Not as long as politicians are never held accountable and use human beings in dangerous political stunts. Human cruelty isn't political, it's evil. Frank has seen evil firsthand. He can see the sickening parallels between the way some people treat immigrants and the homeless.
Don't threat. It isn't all bad news. In fact, the Grinders have some good Sweetos to lift the mood. It was a historical week as actual Meta-Humans were discovered! Superheroes are real! They have been hiding in plain sight all along. Just slightly less historic is Frank's list of new games!
For reasons unknown, Break decided to punish himself this week. He watched four movies of questionable quality. Movies like A Christmas Story are back with an official sequel just in time to ruin Christmas. Break also spent time in the world of DC. Does he smell what Black Adam is cooking? Can Bird of Prey redeem Harleyquinn? Is it a good idea for a man with suicidal tendencies to make a joke about a bad movie called Suicide Squad? (Probably not but Break has really dark humor.)
For the final segment of 2022, the Grinders look back to some of their favorite and movies. A lot of fun time was spent playing TMNT: Shredder's Revenge, Eldin Ring, Xenoblade Chronicles 3, and Guardians of the Galaxy. More fun time was also spent on great movies like Terrifier 2, Godzilla vs Kong, and Dragon Ball Super: Super Heroes.
The Grinders also talk about the hours they regret losing to crappy games and movies. The movies Batman v Superman, Morbius, Moonfall were only some of the self-inflicted cruelties. Bad games? Agony, enough said.
To close out another successful year of RPGinders, Frank has a heartfelt speech for his co-hosting friends Eric & Break. We feel the love and want it to spread. Happy New Year everyone! No matter if 2022 was good or bad, hopefully 2023 will be better.
Google Kate Winslet's boobs. You are welcome.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful breasts with the world, Kate Winslet.
Friday Dec 30, 2022
RPGrinders EP 720 - The Worst Movie of All Time
Friday Dec 30, 2022
Friday Dec 30, 2022
It's finally coming to a head in this tourney of terrible theatrics. But before any of that, the crew has to get through some news. Some release date announcements, ports for the Final Fantasy Pixel Remasters, and The Cowabunga Collection getting an update to address lingering issues are the keynotes to look out for. Afterward, the crew has a few reviews. The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special is covered by everyone, while Eric reviews the not-so-good Black Adam. After some Stinkos and Sweetos covering mostly the Orange dumbass and Griner finally coming home, The final part of this tournament concludes. It's something worth tuning in to hear. The crew also sends its good wishes to everyone for the holidays. Be sure to catch next week's episodes and more live on Fridays at 7 PM EST on Twitch/Youtube!
Friday Dec 16, 2022
RPGrinders EP 719 - Break Man and THUNDER!
Friday Dec 16, 2022
Friday Dec 16, 2022
This episode EricRPG gets a new nickname courtesy of Bernie, Frank finds hilarity in Trumps new NFT's, and finally Break is seriously considering dropping his laptop off a bridge (LOL). Join us LIVE every Friday 7EST here: http://twitch.tv/RPGrinders thanks for listening!
Sunday Dec 11, 2022
RPGrinders EP 718 - Fuck Me, Santa
Sunday Dec 11, 2022
Sunday Dec 11, 2022
HO HO HO Holy shit, the RPGrinders are back with another brand-new episode. What's happening in this jolly episode? The holiday season is in full swing, the news is jam packed, the greastest tournament ever returns for a second round, Frank has some nice words for a bad man, Break still hates the government, and Eric is forced to tolerate them both.
With the holidays comes cold weather and cold weather gives us plenty of time to game! Although these games won't be out in time for this winter, maybe you we can spend next winter playing some of the recently announced titles (if they are released, of course). The walking simulator is returning for Death Stranding 2, a return to Greek mythology for Hades 2, a cutesy version of Bayonetta, or from the ashes of Remnant 2?
If those games don't release in time for the holidays, don't worry because Squenix has us covered! They have finally announced the release date for the 16th title in the most storied of gaming franchises, Final Fantasy! It comes out in the middle of the year but it will probably go on sale for the 2023 holiday season.
The review portion of the show is shorter than normal but it is a Feast.
If all the holiday cheer and good tidings are getting on your nerves, the Stinkoes are what you need. The Grinders all have a lot of complaints. As usual, Break is pissed off at Donald Trump and the Republicans but is he also as pissed at the Democrats? Frank is even more angry at Trump and his threats against the United States of America. As bad as all of those were, they don't compare to Eric's terrible week!
If you aren't over the holidays and are looking for good cheer, nothing will leave you more surprised than Frank's Sweeto.
What's worse than getting a gift you don't want or seeing someone's disappointment at what you bought them? The Worst Movie of All Time! Only 32 sucktacular movies are still on the list but only 16 can continue. Will the Blair Witch bore us more than House of the Dead offends our intelligence? Which hit movie was more overrated, Men in Black 2 or Mrs. Doubtfire? Is the offensive and badly cast Dragon Ball Evolution worse than the shit burger that is Double Dragon? Will It's a Wonderful Life, the Christmas "classic", Crash and burn? Four Batman turds (it's why he smells) started the tournament, will any move on, or will only Robin lay the egg? Who is the worse actor, Rob Zombie's wife or Lindsay Lohan? Velocipastor, is there anything more to say?
Grab your cookies, pour yourself some holiday spirits, crowd around the fireplace, and stream our latest episode of tomfoolery and cheer. Happy holidays to everyone!
Except for traitors of democracy. They can go fuck themselves.
Friday Nov 25, 2022
RPGrinders EP 716 - Black Friday
Friday Nov 25, 2022
Friday Nov 25, 2022
We scratch, punch, and pull hair on our way to the front of the line in this episode! Break once again has a couple of mass shootings to report, Eric reminds everyone to check the podbean rpgrinders feed for his awesome audio reviews, and Frank wants to remind everybody that both Democrat and Republican politicians suck and its time for more parties. Be sure to join us LIVE on http://twitch.tv/RPGrinders every Friday 7EST and join the chat! Thanks for listening!
Saturday Nov 19, 2022
RPGrinders EP 715 - Turkey and Turds
Saturday Nov 19, 2022
Saturday Nov 19, 2022
The Holiday Season is almost upon us. By this time, next week, our stomachs will be bloated with Thanksgiving turkey. Our wallets will be empty from Black Friday shopping. And our ears will bleed from hearing Jiggle Bells for the ten millionth time.
There are a lot of good news article. None quite as tasty as a perfectly cooked turkey but some are just as juicy. It does get much tastier than the announcement that Witcher 3: Wild Hunt is getting free updates to the current generation of consoles. We also learned the release dates of Superfuse and Sword of the Vagrant.
With Black Friday only a week away, Frank has a special present for the listeners. He combed all the major ads to find the best gaming deals. With Frank's deals you won't just have leftover food but also leftover money!
With the shopping over with and the main meal consumed, it's time to chill. Sit down on the couch. Relax and wait for pie. While you wait, you can check out some of the shows and movies reviewed today. Are adult comic book shows, like Titans and Creepshow, worth watching? Was the highly anticipated One Piece Red worth the wait? If you are looking for a good scare, will Shark bait or Smile give you the thrills you desire?
The one thing that should never be a part of Thanksgiving dinner is the vile green bean casserole. Green bean casserole is the Stinko of Thanksgiving dinner. Like the democracy hating Ohio Republicans are the Stinko of Ohio. And the racist governor Youngkin is the Stinko of Virginia.
The only thing sweeter than the cranberry sauce is the news that Nancy Pelosi will be stepping down. That isn't even the best of our Sweetos as Frank is making movie progress and Break's best friend got great news from the doctor.
What's the best side? Is it mashed potatoes in gravy? Is it corn, or rolls? No matter which side you choose, they are all more enjoyable than the Worst Arcade Game Ever Made! Today is the day we finally determine which game is more terrible than the smells coming from the bathroom, the day after Thanksgiving. Will the bastard game of the storied Mortal Kombat series Finish the competition? Is the original Street Fighter as bad as Break says? Is Mil really Pac-Man's Pal? Is Vulgus as vulgar as Frank says? Is Art of Fighting the lamest fighting game ever made? Is Double Dragon 3 the turd that Eric says? Is Toobin's stupid control as stupid as the game play? Or is Time Traveler the misogynistic, racial stereo typed, poorly acted, overpriced, impossible to play, shit burger of a game ever made?
Happy Thanksgiving! Or if you have legitimate problems with the holiday, then I just wish thanks to you and yours! And thanks to our listeners!
Except, Freak.
JK!
You know we love you, Freak!
Saturday Oct 29, 2022
RPGrinders EP 712 - Night of the Living Butt-Head
Saturday Oct 29, 2022
Saturday Oct 29, 2022
The air is getting cooler. The days are getting shorter. And the RPGrinders are back with one last episode before the celebration of the holiest of holidays, Samhain!
It's once again time to celebrate the return of the dead. For one evening they will rejoin our plain of existence. The living and the dead will walk amongst each other. Some of the dead will torment the living. Some of the living will get a chance to get back that $5 that was borrowed right before the borrower died. All will celebrate the glory that is Samhain.
The only way to properly start the celebration of Samhain, is with the traditional reading of the news. The celebration only lasts for a day but by the time you recover, on the 3rd of November, Sword and Fairy: Together Forever will be available on the Xbox. Unfortunately, several games don't arrive until long after the blessed day. Wo Long: Fallen Destiny, Loop8: Summer of Gods, and another update to Fallout 4 won't arrive until next year.
It's not a widely known fact, but some of the dead only return for one night of movie binging. Television access in the afterlife is spotty, at best. With the dead in mind the Grinders have several great movie recommendations. If they are looking for a constant reminder of their own demise, 28 Days Later, 28 Weeks Later, and the legendary Night of the Living Dead! If the dead are just looking for some laughs, they may enjoy League of Super-Pets, the Rise of Gru, or the return of the stupidest teenagers in cartoon history: Beavis & Butt-Head! However, the dead should beware of movies like Morbius and the Sawyer Family Massacre. Those movies will make them wish they had stayed dead.
On Samhain, we will feast. We will dance. We will celebrate and commit ritual sacrifices! Before the fun can begin, the Grinders need to address everyone's favorite segment, the Stinkos! Frank is forced to fight one of man's oldest foes, the common cold. Break is angry about America's lack of fundamental gun laws. But not as angry as Eric is about the vile Florida politicians attacks on the Trans community. Unlike shitty "conservatives", Samhain does not discriminate!
With the worst out of the way, it is time to celebrate the greatest of all Sweetos: Samhain. Dia do los Muertos. All Saints Day. Or by which it is most commonly referred, Halloween!
What better way to celebrate Samhain than to finally choose the Scariest Game of All Time?! Sixty-four games fought valiantly but now only the top four remain! What will be the scariest game of all time? Will Isaac be able to survive the horrors unleashed by cultist alien worshipers? Will a young college student save us all from the evil Ancients? Can detective Sebastian Castellanos survive the twisted world of Ruvik? Will Amanda Ripley find her mother or end up just another victim of the xenomorphs? They are all scary but which one will make you crap your pants?
Samhain comes but once a year. The most wonderful time of the year!
How the fuck do you pronounce 'Samhain'??
Saa-wn? Sow-Wen? Sow-Unn? Sau-ihn? Sah-vin?